Learned helplessness is a psychological phenomenon where children feel powerless and resigned to their circumstances. This can occur when they repeatedly face stressful or uncontrollable situations and fail to find a way to change them. As a result, they may develop a sense of hopelessness and powerlessness, leading to low motivation, passive behavior, and negative self-talk.
Understanding Learned Helplessness:
Learned helplessness can manifest in various ways, including:
Low motivation and lack of effort: Children may feel that their efforts are futile, leading to a lack of motivation and effort in achieving their goals.
Passive behavior and withdrawal: Children may become withdrawn and passive, feeling that they have no control over their environment.
Negative self-talk and self-doubt: Children may develop negative self-talk and self-doubt, believing that they are incapable of achieving their goals.
Strategies for Overcoming Learned Helplessness:
Reason
Develop problem-solving skills and encourage critical thinking: Parents can help their children develop problem-solving skills and encourage critical thinking. For instance, if a child is struggling with a puzzle, a parent can ask open-ended questions like “What do you think you could try next?” or “How do you think you can solve this problem?”
Empathy
Recognize the pattern and acknowledge their feelings: Parents can help their children recognize the pattern of learned helplessness and acknowledge their feelings. For example, if a child says “I’ll never be good at math,” a parent can respond with “I understand that you’re feeling frustrated with math, but we’ve seen you improve in other areas. Let’s work together to find a way to make math more manageable.”
Center
Build resilience through mindfulness, meditation, or yoga: Parents can help their children build resilience through mindfulness, meditation, or yoga. These practices can help children develop coping skills and manage stress.
Reframe
Challenge negative beliefs and encourage positive thinking: Parents can help their children challenge negative beliefs and encourage positive thinking. For instance, if a child says “I’m not good at anything,” a parent can say “That’s not true! You’re great at computers or playing piano . Let’s focus on your strengths and build from there.”
Progress
Set achievable goals and break them down into smaller tasks: Parents can help their children set achievable goals and break them down into smaller tasks. For example, if a child wants to improve their reading skills, a parent can help them set a goal to read for 15 minutes each day and track their progress.
Connect
Seek support from family, friends, or a therapist: Parents can seek support from family, friends, or a therapist to help their children overcome learned helplessness. A mental health professional can provide additional guidance and support to help children develop coping skills and build resilience.
Affirm
Practice self-compassion and acknowledge strengths: Parents can help their children practice self-compassion and acknowledge their strengths. For example, if a child makes a mistake, a parent can say “It’s okay to make mistakes! We can learn from them and try again. What did you learn from this experience?”
Authentic Empowerment:
As children learn to overcome learned helplessness, it’s essential to focus on authentic empowerment. This means:Creating boundaries: Encourage children to set healthy boundaries and prioritize their own needs.
Practicing self-care: Teach children the importance of self-care and encourage them to engage in activities that bring them joy and relaxation.
Developing self-awareness: Help children develop self-awareness and understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Building self-confidence: Encourage children to take risks and try new things, building their self-confidence and self-esteem.
Real-Life Examples:
Ali, a 12-year-old boy, is being bullied at school and feels powerless. His parents can help him develop assertiveness skills and seek support from a trusted adult or counselor.
Zara, a 9-year-old girl, feels overwhelmed by her extracurricular activities. Her parents can help her prioritize her activities and practice time management skills.
Additional Tips for Parents:
Model healthy behavior: Parents can model healthy behavior by managing their own stress and anxiety in a positive way.
Provide opportunities for choice: Parents can provide opportunities for choice and autonomy, allowing children to feel more in control.
Praise effort, not just results: Parents can praise effort, not just results, to encourage children to develop a growth mindset.
The article is written by Ghania—a distinguished child psychologist and holistic child development expert
@mindfulme.official
@holistic_yogalounge
